


Souls entwined with labyrinthine hopes

by dasakuryo



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 15:46:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9392087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dasakuryo/pseuds/dasakuryo
Summary: A mission accomplished, an inventory finished, a bottle of Krilliz, and Cassian Andor and Jyn Erso talking about the future. The outcome doesn't compute well with K-2SO circuits. //[Cassian and Jyn reflect on where they stand after Scarif].





	

"What will you do?" Jyn said in a huff, sitting down into a squat clumsily beside him, "you know, after all this," she paused, wiggling her hand as a small frown wrinkled the corner of her eyes, "is over."

Cassian didn't know what answer to give her. There was a time, maybe when he was younger and the sheer hope and naivety of youth painted everything in easier colors, maybe when he believed that steely determination equaled success, maybe when he still wasn't acquainted with the crude reality of war and all its sharp edges, maybe then, he would have allowed himself to dream about a prospective future. Now, all he could see was the war, its dark looming shadow covering it all,  the dim light on the horizon still seemed unreachable for him, even after the recent Alliance victories. For years, Cassian hadn't been able to look _past_ the war, hadn't even dared to day-dream with a future he might as well never get, that wasn't in his list of luxuries. It'd have distracted him from the _now_.

But he had had those dreams once, a long time ago, a long time ago when he was a teenager that had found purpose on the Rebellion's cause, when he had squared his shoulders and swore he would do everything in his power to bring freedom to the galaxy again, when he had been fresh into the Alliance and General Tano herself had insisted in over-seeing his training –much to Draven's reluctance and protests.

He grabbed the bottle that Jyn was tilting towards him.

"Go back to Fest," he swung the bottle upwards, taking a small gulp of the Krilliz, "see that no Empire sympathizers stir up trouble again," he winced at the mere thought of it, "you know if… people will be adamant to recognize the Alliance as… well, as anything really," he handed the bottle back mimicking Jyn's gesture from earlier, "Fest was part of the Confederacy of Independent Systems during the Clone Wars, people will not approve," he paused, lips pursed, trying to find the words, "they _will_ see it as yet another instance of the Republic trying to mingle and control the planet," his voice had been ragged, almost a grunt, he grimaced.

Out of the corner of his eye, Cassian saw how the corners of Jyn's lips curled into a smile against the bottle bore. She took another sip before handing the bottle over, "well, then I guess nobody more fitted for the peace negotiations than a native from Fest," she let the smile widen, just a little, dimples threatening to appear on her cheeks, before adding, "I know you can talk them into it."

Cassian couldn't help but snort, "Really," he cocked an eyebrow at her, "you of all people should know I am not good with words—" he trailed off, supping as an excuse to avoid having to elaborate on that any further, "you?"

Jyn shrugged and took the bottle from his hand. Seconds afterwards, when she stretched her legs and shifted lightly on her spot, her shoulder bumped into his arm. He hadn't realized how close they had been until then. He tried to rationalize the situation; tried to convince himself that her shoulder hadn't left a lingering tingling sensation there where it had brushed against his upper arm.

If one were to ask Cassian —like K2 had already done in more than one occasion, luckily for him when nobody else was around to hear it— what was with him and Jyn Erso, he wouldn't have been able to give a straightforward nor clear answer. Granted, K-2SO had been less ambiguous, and asked whether he should be concerned about any sort of complex human _bond_ forming between the two of them that might interfere with his capabilities as an intelligence officer.

He truly couldn't yet fully put its finger into _this_ , whatever it was, that had them both sharing a bottle of Krilliz in the cargo hold of the Barloz freighter instead of being up in the common room trying to hide their laughter as Baze grunt-argued with Chirrut about him cheating on Quest —while the man in question keep beaming at him to then put his partner's skills into question for having been defeated by a blind man at a board game, several times.

No, instead of doing _that_ , they'd volunteered to go over and classify the cargo for the Alliance they've gotten on their supply run to Shili. Bodhi had smiled, almost imperceptibly but knowingly, just a small side smile, as he nodded on their way out. As soon as K-2SO had even flinched, the pilot had promptly asked K-2SO to run another system scan just to be cautious. In retrospective, it'd have seemed that _they_ wanted to be _alone_ and that their crew companions wanted _them_ to be alone –well, all with the exception of the droid.

After having going through all the containers and keyed the inventory into a data-pad, there they were— sitting down on the dusty and cold durasteel floor of the cargo bay,  passing a bottle of Krilliz, which neither of them was sure it hadn't expired by then, back and forth.

Jyn hadn't answered yet, too concentrated feeling the bottle rim with her fingers. She took a deep breath, her fingers slid to the neck of the bottle and tapped on the surface, a rather unrhythmic clink making up for her hesitation and filling the silence.

"I don't know," Cassian heard her answer, his gaze now fixated on the containers of the opposite end of the bay, "I have never given it much thought," in her apparent indifference Cassian detected the way her voice faltered, "always running and all—" she trailed off and imitated his opening from moments ago. She took another sip of the drink.

Cassian shook his head when her wrist bent and the bottle was tilted towards him again. There was a short clinking sound when the glass met the durasteel of the floor at last.

Cassian was pretty much aware that death was hanging over their heads all the time, that any mission, any day might as well be their last one. Still, Cassian would have wanted to turn and face her, wanted to ask _why_ then. However slightly hypocritical it might sound coming from him —all things considering— he wanted to know _why_ she had stayed if she couldn't picture any future for herself past the war.

He wanted to know if her motivations now gravitated around those of his, wanted to know if she was doing this so nobody, ever again, would have to carry the burden of doing what they'd been to overthrown the Empire—

He took another deep breath, came out in a heavy sigh. Maybe he should take advantage of the fact the alcohol hadn't sunk in yet and go up to his room before any dizziness or clumsiness made their respective appearances. Maybe he should also get going just in case the drink was indeed expired, just in case he wasn't able to hold the Krilliz as well as he anticipated.

 

Jyn looked at Cassian out of the corner of her eye. She bit her lower lip; felt the kyber crystal with her fingertips. She hadn't known what to answer, maybe she should have thought about that before posing the question to Cassian. She didn't even know why she'd asked him that in the first place, he wasn't a talkative person— far from it. Maybe she did it out of curiosity, expecting that there was more than utter hope and commitment to the rebel cause that drive him, maybe she'd wanted to know whether that darkness he had been carrying on for so long had some sort of silver lining.

Perhaps it had been out of curiosity, perhaps it had been part of that very same Jyn who noticed there was no holo of a girl among his things before Jedha who had mingled in that curiosity-driven question—

Perhaps _not_.

After all, Cassian Andor had that innate ability of making her _question_ her choices since day one.

If she was honest with herself, Jyn didn't have that much of a prospective future either. She was more concerned about staying alive to see the end of the war, imagining an upcoming future for her after the fall of the Empire seemed impractical.

And yet, there was a little voice in her head that sometimes wondered what if. Her shoulders tensed at the thought, it was all Cassian's fault. Rebellions are built on hope, right? Before Jedha, before Eadu, before the Alliance, before Rogue One, before Scarif… she'd given up, there was no spirit, no fire, driving her on Wobani. And then there was Cassian Jeron Andor, with his mission that unfolded and mutated into something that turned Jyn's world upside down—

 _Stop right there,_ she thought to herself. That had to be the alcohol making her over-analyse and reflect on things Jyn Erso didn't want to reflect on after taking Krilliz, things an increasingly light-headed Jyn Erso definitely didn't want to think with Cassian Andor's side touching hers.

She rubbed her eyes with her hands, swallowed a yawn. Maybe she should get up and made her way to her quarters, collapsing on a mattress, no matter how thin, would be gentler on her back and still strained muscles. She flexed her legs towards her, pressed a hand on the durasteel right in front of the bottle to propel herself up… instead, she sighed, her legs and arms suddenly too heavy.

This time, she couldn't hold back the yawn.

Cassian realized he'd been drowsing on and off when his heart skipped a beat at a sudden alien weight on his shoulder. His dizzy gaze focused quickly, and his eyes were greeted by dark brown hair and a halfway undone hair bun. Jyn's breathing was steady, too slow, too calm for her to be doing anything but sleeping. Cassian swallowed, particularly when she stirred still asleep and snuggled closer to him.

He should gently wake her up, probably; sleeping like that wouldn't do her any good at all. Little did he do to follow that course of action, when Jyn stirred again and nearly broke the precarious balance his arm wrapped securely around her in a soft embrace —just enough to keep her from falling to the cargo bay floor.

She didn't flinch, nor jolted, nor shifted at the clasp of his arm around her, she merely curled up closer, now properly leaning on his chest, her legs touching his left. Cassian breathed in, and fought back the itchiness on his free hand at the idea of arranging her jacket that had slid down and rested awkwardly at her elbow. That would wake her… and no matter how Jyn had shrugged it off he knew she had been having trouble sleeping.

He knew about the nightmares.

She had to wake up eventually out of discomfort, it wouldn't be long it that position until her legs and back started to ache. Cassian'd rather she woke up on her own accord rather being him the one who cut short her sleep, especially when she to be resting at ease, undisturbed.

Trying not to give much thought to the fact not only did she seemed at ease but she felt at ease sleeping curled up against him, Cassian waited. He brought a hand to his mouth to cover his yawn, blinked repeatedly, and waited.

Any time now, she'd wake up.

 

 _She didn't_. They both fell asleep on the cargo bay, Cassian's back resting on the cargo container, Jyn curled up against him.

Having still almost a day and a half worth of time travelling through hyperspace, nobody had checked on them before calling it a night, figuring they were still finishing the inventory and hadn't yet gone to their respective quarters.

It was Bodhi who started growing restless once he realized neither Jyn nor Cassian were where they should have been. A cheerful Chirrut had offered _maybe she's with the Captain_ to Bodhi, when he saw Bodhi's face on the hallway, _Chirrut,_ Baze had warned with a grave voice.

Of course, it had to be K-2SO who found them.

Both Cassian and Jyn were jolted awake by the droid judgmental protest, "You lied Cassian," and as both of them clumsily and rather awkwardly put some distance between them, added, "you are _bonding_."

**Author's Note:**

> Being unable to be outspoken and straightforward about their feelings seems to be yet another thing Cassian and Jyn have in common, I wanted to explore how they subconsciously may act on those feelings neither of them can voice still. Of course that K-2SO looks down on _this_ , whatever this is, because Kay needs to complain and be sarcastic -at the start of it all at least, you've to love that sassy droid ♥ Hope you've enjoyed the story! Thanks a lot for reading, feedback is always appreciated :)


End file.
